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Dating a guy with bipolar disorder

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There are common misconceptions surrounding what to expect when you have a friend or partner with bipolar disorder.

Of course, everyone suffers and deals with bipolar differently, and there are many different types on the spectrum, with Type 1 and 2 being most common.

"I hope it doesn't scare you off."Panicked thoughts raced through my mind. This was the odd humor Sara and I had already established, but I wasn't entirely joking.

I'd had several close bipolar friends, and had once been in a long-term relationship with a bipolar woman, Nyla, whom I still consider the smartest person I'd ever met.

When Jim Mc Nulty, 58, of Burrillville, Rhode Island, got married in the 1970s, everything seemed fine at first.

"It was an absolutely normal courtship," he recalls. During his "up" or hypomanic states, he would spend huge sums of money he didn't have.

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Finally, he says, "She asked me to leave because she couldn't live with the illness anymore." When people get into a relationship, they're looking for stability, says Scott Haltzman, MD.

Take my friend Jerome, hired one summer to drive a van full of rich and annoying European teenagers across the country. I didn't hear Sara's story until later, but it didn't have many funny parts.

Somewhere in the Midwest, without telling the kids or his employer or anyone else where he was going, he simply got out at a gas station and walked away. Her condition was rooted in a childhood depression that began when her father died suddenly of stomach cancer. Then came her diagnosis, and years of experimenting with different psychiatric drugs until her doctors found the magic combination.

From a distance, I'd seen how much energy it took Nyla to keep her episodes under control: weekly doctor's visits, blood tests, complicated regimens of medications.

And yet for all their problems, my bipolar buddies had always kept things interesting.